February 14, 2009 - Valentines Day!

One of the scariest moment in my life happened on this day!

It was supposed to be an exciting and happy one, since im all set to go to Bataan, as in, ung mga gamit ko nakahanda na. I texted Denise already so we could meet.And i even asked Anamei to join us. But then something came up..

I was supposed to leave early, kaya lang nagtext ung pupuntahan ko sa Bataan na kailangan nyang pumasok pa, and 5pm ang out nya. So I decided to leave after lunch.

I woke up at 9:30, double checked my things then went out to buy food and charger. After that i decided to go to an internet cafe and checked my emails. Kalalog in ko pa lang, nang biglang sumigaw ung may ari ng cafe na nasusunog daw ung likod. I got scared dahil naisip ko na malapit dun ung inuupahan kong room so I immediately stood up saka lumabas then i saw na malaki na ung apoy. Bigla kong tumakbo dahil ang laki laki na talaga ng apoy, and i was really scared.
When I reached my room, walang kuryente shet! sobrang dilim, i didnt know what to do. I began to panicked, pasok labas ako ng kwarto, tapos narinig ko na lang ung landlady ko na sinabi "anak, ayusin mo na yung gamit mo!"... ang naalala kong sagot ko "ate, di ko alam kung pano ko sisimulan , ang dilim" as in i was really nervous my hands are trembling when i decided to call our office to ask help.

potek! nag iisa ko, at sa mga damit ko palang di ko na alam kung pano ko hahakutin un... tangna talaga... naiiyak na ko nung time na yun at talagang ninerbyos na. buti na lang dumating ung driver at messenger namin saka ung tito ko at pinsan.. they helped me at di nila ko iniwan hanggang sa di sinasabi na ok na.

And im really thankful na hindi umabot samin, but still i decided na dun muna sa mga tita ko magstay for a few days. and sadly hindi na ko tumuloy sa Bataan. Wala na ko sa mood. And sobra kong nanlalata and im still nervous.

When ate wheng and ate nanz knew about what happened they invited me out, kaso wala talaga ko sa mood lumabas nung time na yun..Im a bit dissapointed dahil di nga natuloy ang pagpunta ko ng bataan but thankful dahil hindi umabot sa bahay ung sunog..

Whew! ayoko ng maexperience yung ganun talaga...

bakit ganito ang nararamdaman?

bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko?

parang may kulang, parang may butas na dapat tapalan..

di ko alam kung ano ung gusto kong gawin at mangyari, or di ko lang sigurado kung kakayanin ko kung anu man ung mangyayari.. bahala na

i think im beginning to fall out of love...

disturebed.confused

naguguluhan ako..

i did something really bad... haaaaaaaays

ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko dahil sa nangyari..

i feel sooo guilty....

Lord please help me....